Can you check my growth mindset essay with the rubric?

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Rubric: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n9PfIqtLOdQHKX4my43nLXoieyaNUxD-zQA6KrqXOkY/edit?usp=sharing

I’m bad at writing essays with rubrics. Thank you.

What was a challenge that you have faced and have overcome? Or if you have not overcome this challenge yet, what is your challenge and what are the steps will you take to address it? In a constructed response, describe the challenge that you went through. Provide facts and details that help your audience (me!) understand the issue you encountered. Then explain how you overcame the obstacle and how your experience relates to growth mindset.

To form a correct constructed response, please follow these guidelines:

– Answer the prompt completely

– Provide relevant and complete evidence

– Paragraph(s) include the following: a focus, a detailed experience that illustrates your challenge, an explanation of how you overcame it and its relation to growth mindset, and a conclusion

   A challenge I faced and have overcome is going on a plane. My mom planned a trip to go to Vietnam last year to meet our relatives. She already bought plane tickets for us, but I was afraid of going on planes. I have fears that there could be something wrong with the plane mid-flight that if it ran out of fuel, explodes, or crashes. I heard all of these from the news that made me fearful from going on planes. I had to go because my family was going too. Before the flight, my mom explained to me what I’ll be expecting when I’m on the plane that there’s no risk to worry about. Those fears are still haunting me after she explained it.

   It was night time at the airport in the gate, there were a lot of people that will be boarding this plane. I thought if those people were just like me and they’ll experience the same. That made me more confident because the plane wouldn’t let that many people down. I also met my cousin who had more experience in flights because he had travel to many places. My cousin was the same age as me and he told me about the seat-back screens and food. I felt more excited and less fearful when he told me these features.

   When we boarded the plane, it was filled with people. Its engines were loud and the sounds it made made my heart beat fast. In mid-flight, the pilot said there was a turbulence that made me scared, thinking if the engine was blown. My mom made me sleep because I was bothering my dad too much about my questions of fear. Tomorrow we arrived there as soon as I woke up.

   This is related to a growth mindset because I learned from my cousin’s experience. He inspired me with his experience to go on the plane. I was trying to persuade my mom to not take the plane and take another transportation, but the plane was the only choice she had. My cousin travels a lot by plane, so I thought why should I be afraid when he’s here ready to fly with me.

   Since this was my first time on a plane, I was scared of the many factors that I might encounter during the flight. That was until my cousin explained to me about the joys of flying that he enjoys and I should too. I’ve overcome my fear of flying now and know what to expect for the next flight, coming back home. 

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